More bad porn hair and a plush-toy bonus! File this under “Boys Are So Stupid”. First of all, the windswept cheap-ass Zac Efron disaffected Emo hair is revolting. Get a real hair style dammit! Second of all, it’s okay to love your teddy but it’s not okay to love your teddy.
Click here for the completely gratuitous NSFW version (if that’s your thing).
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A big-screen version of American Gladiators is in the works.
Dear God,
Why?
Thanks,
Jon
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I know I have seen you somewhere before... oh wait... now I recall where!
I’ve seen you at the nude beach.
I thought you seemed overly tanned.
How would Emily Post tell me to handle this situation?
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A surreal video from Matt and Kim. So odd and the last 10 seconds were a surprise.
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You always knew, deep down inside, if you sent a famous person a fan letter (or even a normal letter *smirk*) they would never see it. Well, here is an engrossing little article confirming that gut feeling: Where Fan Mail Goes to Get Answered.
And to think I was this close to licking a stamp and sending off a passionate diatribe to Sandra Bullock. Looks like that’s one for the shredder. Heh.
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I can’t move away from here. I like it. I have a hair dresser and a mechanic so it’s official, I’m in for the long haul. But oh how I long to be closer with my Seattle family. My mom is threatening to move here again - I really wish she would - but I kinda don’t believe her. She threatens to move every year and so far she’s a no-show. She always finds an excuse to delay or change her mind or some such thing - and I totally get it. Change is hard and moving your life is a huge deal - I mean, it wasn’t just two sentences back I said I was in for the long haul so I completely understand.
Frankly I wish they were all near by. I have all these awesome siblings I never see and a couple I never (and I do mean never) even talk to: I have a brother (of sorts) in Portland and he ignored me on Facebook. Ouch. Dick.
Ayhoo I am just the littlest bit lonely. I need some friends or family that I am close too that at least live remotely near by. I always look forward to visits from the G’monts or the sibs and ‘rents and my shlister-in-law. I am not due for a visit from any of them for a long time. Suck.
As we all know, the world revolves around me, so would you people please get off your lovely asses and come and visit moi? That includes you Matty and Katie and Chris and Dylon (who won’t even acknowledge I exist - what a d-bag). Get a move-on.
kthxb.
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Leif Garrett called...
This feathery fluffy shaggy mane has a calming effect on me. Ahhhh, zen.
Click here for the full monty (NSFW). BOIOIOIOIOIIIIIING!
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This list of the 10 greatest mall set action sequences in the history of film, is pretty good. The inclusion of Eight Legged Freaks (a supreme guilty pleasure), Back to the Future and Dawn of the Dead make me quite happy. However, the rest don’t do too much for me... and the number one pick is just down right baffling.
Question? Where was Paul Blart: Mall Cop? Why wasn’t it on the list? For the record, PB:MC, which more than surpasses its title, is worth a look. Roger Ebert says the PG-rated film is “as slam-bang preposterous as any R-rated comedy you can name. It's just that Paul Blart and the film's other characters don't feel the need to use the f-word as the building block of every sentence. They rely on the rest of the English language, which proves adequate.”
Both Jane and I agree, it’s sweet and unreasonably funny. Wow I really went down a rabbit hole on this post. I started with a link to a top ten list and ended pleading my case for a movie that most people would rather not see. What can I say, I may not have a PhD in film but I know what I like.
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Jane (his wife) mentioned in passing the other day that I had seven (count them, seven) different parents involved in my life. This includes step, and adopted and biological and so on. Holy crap! I don’t think I ever counted them before. But seven is the correct number and all of them have had varying degrees of impact on my life. Mostly, but not always, positive.
Two of them surface more often than others: the mothers (queue dramatic theme music). Next would be my three dads (if I wrote a sitcom based on these men’s involvement in my life, it would be five minutes long and could only be aired on Showtime - and even then I’m not sure they’d allow it). Finally there are the step-biological parents; what ever that means.
Confused? You should see my tangental family tree of dotted lines a loop-dee-loops when we start to evaluate my seven (yes there are also seven) siblings. Alas that’s a story for another time...
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This is revolting. Don’t click here - Not Suitable For Work! So if you are a parent and/or sibling of mine I beg you in all seriousness... don’t do it. It’s along the lines of Two Girls One Cup or the Goatse memes. It is not for the faint of heart (or stomach). Yuk.
Now that we have that out of the way, the rest of yous should click away!
Barf!
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This latest in the series of porntastic hair is the saddest of all: the gelmet.
At least with the previous examples we looked at, we could always blame the stylist who did that to the poor model before the photographer snapped the dastardly photo. But in the case of whatshisname (above) he has no one to blame but himself. He did that to his hair on purpose. All by himself. Then he captured it on film.
Some people can surpass their bad hair with a nice big smile - or some other big attribute. Just because he’s mostly naked (if you click on this link) doesn’t really distract from the whorendous hard candy shellac on his head.
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Part 6 of a continuing series of hairtastrophes. Wow, a feathered shell and a molester mustache. Delicious! It’s like single scoop of your favorite ice cream and then a second scoop for free. Two for the price of one.
Click here for the whole banana split (NSFW).
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More in the continuing series of horrid dirty porn hair.
This is not a candid photo. This is a cheesecake photo, which means someone somewhere thought enough of this fellow and his awesome feathery helmet to commit it to film. I struggle to put into words my feelings about this... it’s just.. so... not okay. I’m sure there is a nice guy under all that fluff. Why must people make it so hard to love them?
Click here to see the whole NSFW masterpiece.
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I have resisted MySpace and Facebook for years. Back when the internet was young, I was linked into IRC and Yahoo groups and such but I could never bring myself to sign up for the audio-visual assault that was MySpace.
Today I cracked - I now have a Facebook profile. Sigh.
I’ve barely been signed up for twelve hours and people who I haven’t fucked talked to in years have come crawling out of the woodwork. It’s been a refreshing trip down memory lane. Here’s a few of my favorite reconnections:
- Nick... Oh Nick.... My long-term crush object is one of my favorite people to make out with. Heck, I still wanna make out with him. He also has the special distinction of being the only person I have injured myself having sex with. A groin injury that made me walk funny for days. Good times.
- Gene... Dear Lord he’s a blast from the past. Gene was the first person I ever met that I knew for sure was gay - mainly because I was sucking his dick. He also has the special distinction of being the first person I ever had sex with. Again, I was walking funny for days. Ah, memories.
- June... The librarian from my high school! Finally someone on this list I didn’t have sex with. She was a wacky lady who was super creative. She had such a positive impact on me as a student and person in general. She set a great example of how to live life without boundaries. Luckily for me, I had the privilege of being her student for 4 years.
What an amusing day. Of course there were tons more connections, some more fruitful than others. Can you believe my ex-girlfriend’s mother is the one who convinced me to sign up? Yeah, me neither. I still refuse to be a part of MySpace though... maybe after Rupert M. kicks-off I’ll reconsider. Shouldn’t be too long right? What is he, like a 143 or something? .
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I don’t know much about art but I know what I like.
The whole shebang is behind the cut...
( NSFW - Click at Your Own Risk )
I know it’s erotically artistically interesting and all... but what does it mean????
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42 year old Cindy Crawford bares it al in the new issue of Allure.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmnnnnnn!
( NSFW - Click at Your Own Risk )
Wowzers! She’s got me all in a lather too....
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It never ceases to amaze me what idiot-guys will allow themselves to be photographed doing. Where is Joe Francis when you need him?
( Ever so slightly NSFW - Click at Your Own Risk )
The answer to his question is: No. I don’t. First off, I have bad habits older than you. Second off, get a haircut, take a shower and stop letting people take your picture with magic marker scrawled across your chest. Don't even get me started on the gold chains! Gawd... boys are stupid.
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Part 4 in a continuing series of bad porn hair: The Afro! He’s a bad mother... Shut yo’ mouf!
I don’t know who this guys is/was but I sooo wanna be his friend. His hair helmet is the picture of loveliness...
Here’s the whole buffed out naughty version for those who are so inclined.
Notice how his hair is appropriately sized to go with his muscle size?
Just sayin’ - the man has an eye for proportions.
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Cheesy Smoked Turkey and Banana Casserole - aka Tropical Heart Attack Casserole
Ingredients
- Butter
- 12-14 slices white bread (with no crusts)
- 8-10 large slices deli sliced smoked turkey
- 4 bananas, sliced on the bias (make sure the bananas are not too ripe)
- 2 cups shredded Sharp Cheddar
- 2 cups crushed regular potato chips (measure first, then crush)
- 6 slices cooked and crumbled bacon
- 4 large eggs
- 1 cup 2% milk
- 1 cup cream (not half & half - real cream)
- Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
- Salt and freshly ground black pepper
- Splash of Worcestershire sauce
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9 by 13 glass baking dish. Butter both sides of the crustless bread and layer approximately 6 of them into the bottom of the baking dish, overlapping them as necessary but keep them even. Layer the slices of smoked turkey on top of the bread, then splash some Worcestershire on top of the turkey, then layer the bananas and finally 6 more slices of bread, then the cheese, potato chips, and bacon. In a separate bowl, beat together the eggs, milk, cream, nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Pour this over the casserole almost to the top. Bake for 45 minutes until brown and bubbly. Let setup for 10 minutes then cut into squares and remove with a spatula, like lasagna. Prepare to have your mind altered, your taste buds titillated and you life changed for the better. Enjoy! .
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Here's Right Said Fred's new single, I'm a Celebrity. It's kinda catchy... Enjoy!
Annnnnnnd here they are in a recent interview on Fox News (of all places). They were incredibly good sports...
http://www.foxnews.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralObject=3805041&referralPlaylistId=playlist
Oki Dokie then.
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The third in a series of horrific porn hair. This one really takes the cake!
Is that a toup’ or a comb-over? And what to make of the eyebrows?
/me shakes his head in dismay.
Click here for the NSFW version (which isn’t all that exciting trust me).
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Stephen King’s It is heading to the big screen. A remake of a miniseries from the 90s. Hawt. Actually, the first part of the mini series, the part with the kids, is quite good. The part with John Ritter however, is unforgivably bad.
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Christopher Atkinsesque bad/big hair in flagrante delicto - Blue Lagoon style!
His hair is so fluffy and blonde and ridiculous. And why’s he so oily anyway?
You could go to give him a hug (or other illicit activities) and slide right off him.
What’s his stage-name going to be? I vote for Exxxon Valdez.
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Howard the Duck has finally arrived on DVD. Rejoice!
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Don’t recall why you should want to own this?
Here are 10 Defenses for Howard the Duck.
Oooooh Ducky...
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Porn Hair! I can’t get enough of it!
It’s like a fiberglass haystack.
If the NSFW version is your speed, click here to see the whole enchilada.
It’s not really necessary though - his hair is the main attraction!
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A blast from the past...
I wonder if they have crab legs?
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Here’s a bizarre picture of Brad Pitt in a goggles and a dress.
While pink may be his color, the sequins/fish-scales are a real no no. Doesn’t he know that you have to be size zero to pull that shiz off?
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Can you believe they banned this billboard for Armani Exchange in Manhattan?
( NSFW - Click at Your Own Risk )
I can’t imagine why...
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I swear, what is it about Japanese pop culture that latches on to the god damn weirdest shiz? For instance, they are obsessed with 90s gay porn star Billy Herrington. Apparently Herrington has become an internet meme among Japan's online community. A clip from one of his videos Workout was posted on Nico Nico Douga, a Japanese video sharing website (it’s like YouTube, only the user comments are superimposed over the videos) and it took off. According to Wikipedia, over 3000 mash-up parody videos of him have been made.
What the hell? It’s more weird than dirty, but still Not Suitable For Work. YouTube video after the jump...
( NSFW - Click at Your Own Risk )
Um... What's with the baby heads?
I have so many questions....
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Ladies and Faggots! I present the only known pink dolphin in the world:
No, it’s not Photoshop, he’s an albino dolphin. Click to learn more.
Fantastic!
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Here's some more from the almighty gayness that is Troy Miller:
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